The Stupidest Human on Earth

Are all your fingers pointing this way? Because they should be. Just call me queen of the dumb.


Mind blown!

Are you ready for this…

Dressage is nothing like hunters. You’re shocked I know!

Ok maybe you aren’t shocked. But I am. Hence the DUMB. I was so happy (and naive) floating around in my little bubble. I love doing flat dressage work in my CC Childeric saddle. Of course I know how to dressage.

Look at us doing our fancy flat work with good equitation.


We had our first real dressage lesson with trainer M last night. And it was eye opening (also awesome).

I had assumed that I’d be able to make do with the saddle I have. No problem. I’ll just lengthen the stirrups a hole. G was always telling me I need to raise my stirrups a hole so surely one hole down would be perfect for dressaging. All I have to do is sit deeper. Are you laughing at my idiocy yet.

Trainer M asked me to tell her about myself and about Tuck. Then she had us do a quick W/T/C so she could see where we’re at.

I assumed we’d be put on a circle from now until the end of time working on the proper way to do all the dressage things. Ha!

Trainer M explained the difference between hunter position vs dressage position. She pointed out the fact that I’m going to be fighting my saddle in order to be in the correct position. Then she had me lengthen my stirrups two holes and manhandled my legs into the place they should be. Ouch! My dressage muscles are soooo tight!

She had me start at the walk without stirrups simply working on holding the correct position. Sitting upright, shoulders back, back arched a little, legs long and back and for heaven sake stop with the heels down toe up. Let your leg go loose and your toe point down (say what?!?!). LOOSE! Get your thigh off the saddle. Stop gripping!

Then we added in a few steps of trot because who the hell can maintain that position for more then that. She taught me how to use my seat to walk. So cool! Then she let me take my stirrups back and she had me lengthen them three more holes.

Repeat all that, in both directions, posting trot and sitting trot (torture trot! when did sitting trot get to be so hard?!?!) transitioning to walk with my seat. Stop tipping forward. Post up not forward. Son of a monkey whore why is this so hard?!?!

Then she took my stirrups away and made me hold the reins in my outside hand and had me canter. Ride like a cowgirl! loosen up. Put your hand on your thigh. Thighs off the saddle. You’re slapping the saddle with your ass. Follow the movement with your hips. It’s easier to keep a string from falling off your open palm and moving with you than a stick. Be the string!

So much homework! Also I need a dressage saddle stat!


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22 Responses to The Stupidest Human on Earth

  1. T. A. Eyo ¥ says:

    I was snickering through this whole thing because it’s so relatable. Unfortunately, you hit the “I need a Dressage saddle” phase before me. Oh, and you’ll learn to love the sitting trot.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Amanda C says:

    Yeah, I always think it’s cute when most h/j people start talking about dressage. I thought I had a clue too, until I started doing it for real and realized I didn’t. Basically – if you think you have a decent handle on dressage, you probably don’t! It’s the worst.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Erin says:

      I hope some of the things I know will translate or at least give me a bit of a base. But if not. Oh well. It’s kind of fun learning something new.


  3. L. Williams says:

    It’s always great to expand your horizons!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Try going from dressage to hunters (“you want me to do what with my heels? how short are you telling me my stirrups need to be? But how? Why?”) Oh my instructors loved me for the first bit haha it’s good experience though! I go back to those days constantly for training and muscle building, excellent when you start racking up those poles. Learn to love it, I promise it will be worth it ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  5. 😉 yey, the crazy dressage world! Welcome!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. carey says:

    Haha learning is fun

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hahaha! My life changed for the better when I got a dressage saddle- I spent a couple of years trying to muddle through in a forward flap XC saddle and it was just. not. working.

    If I can help with the saddle search, let me know. (The store where I work is happy to ship to Canada.)

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Karen M says:

    do all dressage trainers manhandle riders’ legs? Because that happened to me, too, before I defected to h/j land.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Emma says:

    Lolz it’s kinda a trip right?!?

    Liked by 1 person

  10. kaitlyndzn says:

    heheh i went through the same thing when i first started dressage…I really thought my jump saddle was ok. Anyway I do have TWO awesome dressage saddles for sale fairly reasonably priced! One is brand new 🙂 Message me if youre interested at kaitlyndzn at yahoo dot com

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Courtney says:

    teeehehe, sounds like fun 😉 That reminds me of how I felt when I switched to hunters, except in reverse obviously. Is this a permanent switch? Or just trying it out? I can’t wait to hear how the rest of your forte into dressage goes!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Hahaha, us hunter princesses are so cute! LOL ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Stephanie says:

    I started taking dressage lessons after being hunter ever since I e been riding and I was shocked at how different they are too! It’s definetley a good workout and can’t wait to teach my mare dressage!


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