TRM Blog Hop ~ The Honest Ad

For Sale:

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12 year old, 15’3″ish, Thelwell Pony Unicorn cross.

He truly is a magical pony. Able to jump small sticks (2’6″… probably higher but his rider is a chicken shit). Stands (when he wants to) and goes (when he wants to). Constantly tries to convince his rider that he knows better. But don’t worry once you’ve convinced him whose boss he only tries to convince you he knows better every other day.

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He would prefer a home that can afford to have him massaged and adjusted by a chiropractor after every ride. But He’ll settle for once a week if he has to.

He can be ridden on trail rides. Just watch out for low hanging branches as he may attempt to throw you into them. He makes an excellent hunter but if you ever want to win the hack you better plan on kneecapping the competition. He can dressage as long as you’re subtle/gentle with your requests. Otherwise he will throw a massive hissy fit and flip you the bird (which means threaten to rear).

Clips… just don’t plan on doing it fast because he needs breaks and he fidgets and don’t plan on ever fully clipping his legs because he constantly lifts them while you’re trying to clip. Also it takes major convincing that clipping his ears won’t actually kill him. Oh and don’t start anything around feeding time because he can be a real asshole when the feed cart or hay comes out or if anyone goes within a mile radius of either (basically kill anyone that tries to bring any food anywhere near the barn).

Bathes… he will submit to the humiliation of a bath but don’t expect him to stand still or to not actively try and stand on the hose (don’t fool yourself into believing he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He does. He’s a calculating, manipulative and yet adorable jerk that seems to like to make life difficult).

Loads… Just make sure that there is hay on there. You’ll just have to figure out some way of padding and wrapping his tail because there’s no way he’s standing the whole way to wherever it is you’ve planned to go. Nope. He’s sitting his big ass on the bar or back of the trailer and rubbing a bald spot into the top of his tail. Side note: don’t worry the braiders love bald spots.

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He will eat you out of house and home. Have food, he will come… maybe. For example, if you’re trying to convince him to haul himself out of the knees deep mud pit you better have something really good or he’ll just look at you like he doesn’t know who you are as he continues to eat a circle of grass around himself (ask me how i know… oh wait there’s picture evidence). It would probably be better if you just don’t eat in his presence. If you’re eating it, he wants it regardless of whether it’s an apple or hamburger or sour candy, etc., etc., etc. All the food all the time forever!

Thanks Cathryn for another great hop!

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8 Responses to TRM Blog Hop ~ The Honest Ad

  1. Hillary H. says:

    Houston is like that. Wants to eat it all but can’t even be convinced to come to me when it’s time to ride… Have to chase the buggar around.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Stephanie says:

    Hahaha, I love Tucker!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Emma says:

    “If you’re eating it he wants it” LOL! Sounds mighty familiar haha

    Liked by 1 person

  4. rockingeboarding says:

    Oh shoot, I didn’t even think about including loading on my ad… That would have been interesting. Funny how we can still be so committed to these insanely ridiculous animals!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Cathryn says:

    He is the cutest oh my god.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Courtney says:

    Awww Tucker is so cute!!

    Like

  7. carey says:

    Haha, he’s sooooo cute!

    Like

  8. Karley says:

    What a great hop!!! I def need to do this!!

    Like

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