F*** Goals ~ I’ve Got The Rage

This post was supposed to be more about the move and how my goals need to change (for the short term anyway).

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I was going to talk about my 101 in 1001 riding goals. I was going to talk about how I need to put them on hold for now, how I won’t be showing this year, and how I likely won’t meet the 1001 time line. I was also going to talk about how the timeline doesn’t really matter. For me the 101 in 1001 was just a way to jump start doing things and getting things done. A way to solidify all my goals and wants into a must do list. So that they aren’t just floating around in ‘it might be nice to one day…’

And then I got pissed. Really pissed. I’m a crier when I’m pissed. And that makes me more pissed.

And it made me want to air all my grievances and possibly even throat punch a few people.

But I won’t because I’m not that girl. If I’m not going to say it to your face then I’m sure as hell not going to say it behind your back. Well ok, I might say it behind your back. But it would only be to my most trusted of friends, behind closed doors, and in confidence (J I’m looking at you. Thanks for talking me off that CN Tower ledge).

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So instead I’m going to talk about equestrian goals and how important it is to consider the horse.

I may or may not have been accused of giving up to easy, as the wind changes I believe were the words used. I call bullshit on this one. It also may or may not have been implied to me that my goals should be put above Tucker. I’m not ok with that. I do not have endless amounts of money to fix him or to replace him. I do not have an endless string of horses. If I make the choice to not jump my horse due to not quite rightness. Well that’s my choice. Goals be damned. Tucker is not expendable.

Do I think he can still be jumped despite the wonky steps being back (ugh!)? Yes. I know he can. Do I think Tuck was really pissed that we left the ring without jumping? Yes. I know he was. He definitely wanted to work.

Jumping doesn’t seem to have any impact on the NQR. But what’s the point? My goals have been firmly put on hold. We’re moving. We’re not showing this year. Moving forward I’m not even sure how much jumping I want to do (I feel I should add that I won’t ever give it up completely, obviously my horse loves it to much).

I guess what I’m trying to say is that riding goals are a croc of shit. Maybe that’s a little strong. But that’s how I feel right now. I have goals, but if those goals remain on my to do list forever. Oh well. If I never have the nerve or the horse that can help me accomplish those goals. Oh well.

New most important of All goals is to have fun, and enjoy every moment with my horse and to make sure he’s enjoying every moment too. Yes we’ll continue moving forward and working on things. If one day we can tick those higher goals off my list I’ll be ecstatic. But his comfort and wellbeing are more important than my desire to win ribbons or shiny plates. His trust in me and the maintenance of our partnership is more important to me.

Side note: I did leave the ring. But I went into another one and continued working on the flat. A lot of walk and some trot and trying to get him to stretch out. He felt a bit better by the end but he was still taking wonky steps. I massaged his back end after and he immediately cocked a hip and started chewing and lowered his head. Hopefully that helped. All day turnout at the new barn will hopefully help too. If not I’ll get his chiropractor out again.

Side note #2: I do love ribbons and shiny plates and despite my ridiculous nerves I want to win all the things. I see those things one day being a thing for us again. But in our own time and in our own way. I will not stand having someone else’s ideals thrust upon us.

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16 Responses to F*** Goals ~ I’ve Got The Rage

  1. Karen M says:

    Putting your horse’s well-being first is way more important than any goal. Sounds to me like you are doing everything right right now.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. kaitlyndzn says:

    I think you are thinking of your sanity and more importantly your horse’s well being. Dont let the outside stuff creep in. You got it!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Lauren says:

    I pretty much wrote the opposite post of this one yesterday, although I can certainly relate to you. In my opinion, soundness and health should NEVER be compromised in the pursuit of goals. However, it’s really up to a horse and rider combination to decide the best decisions for them in the long run.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Erin says:

      As I wrote this I actually thought about you and a few other bloggers that are making changes in order to achieve your goal. It’s not meant as an attack on anyone’s choices. It’s specific to me and Tuck. Tucker is still the right horse for me and still the right horse to achieve the goals I’ve set. Just on our schedule. Not because of what someone else thinks.

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  4. rachelum33 says:

    Unfortunately, people are always going to have an opinion on your horse care and what you are doing with your horse. That is just a fact of life when you are at a boarding facility. The thing that people need to remember is that YOU know YOUR horse better than anyone else! There are hard decisions that you may consult with people but in the end it is your decision. Goals are great but this is not a sport with a straight line to them. So many factors must align for equestrians to meet their goals. I had my own goals for this year but as you know surprise back surgery changed that so I had to adjust. I know exactly how you feel because I have gotten so much criticism on when and how I came back. And there are people on the complete opposite ends of the spectrum that I should have been on already and showing (jumping) this season to others who think that I am crazy that I am already trotting. It all comes down to you know you and Tuck better than anyone else.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Erin says:

      People need to mind their business! lol! Thanks for the perspective. I could be working through harder things than Tuck just needing another adjustment.

      Like

  5. rockingeboarding says:

    I’m a goal-setter in my heart-of-hearts, but I do understand walking away from some goals, taking some time off, or removing them from the list altogether if need by. Just do what you gotta go and try not to listen to negativity, even if that is sometimes yourself. I’m a new reader, but I’m interested in what is going to happen next!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Tracy - Fly On Over says:

    The equestrian world is never want for opinions on anything and everything. You do you, and do whatever feels right… f*ck the haters!

    Like

  7. hellomylivia says:

    You do you girl! Number one goal is always a happy and healthy horse and rider- on whatever timeline works. Goals are always evolving and shifting as we figure out what makes us happy, and you just gotta do what you feel is right for you and your horse. ❤

    Like

  8. I think goals are important to be able to focus in on something when you and your horse are healthy and happy. However, since your horse seems to not be 100% right now, you’re definitely doing the right thing. I mean, what if you pushed him too hard and really ruined him for one stupid goal?? Totally not worth it. Good for you for putting him first. And it doesn’t mean you’ll never reach your goals!!

    Like

  9. emma says:

    i think the horse world is uniquely susceptible to this type of stuff – we have intensely personal relationships with our horses, our goals, and our entire involvement in the sport. and yet we also frequently have trainers or barn mgrs or whomever that are also paid to provide guidance. sometimes that guidance can influence us to change our minds, and sometimes it’s not the right choice for us. i try to navigate it all by reminding myself that nobody will care more about *me* and *my goals* and *my horse* than i do, and that ultimately all that matters is how i feel about it all. wishing you the best of luck!

    Like

  10. L. Williams says:

    It can be immensely frustrating to reach goals slowly. I know, I am now getting to some of my measley goals after 10 years of working towards them and even then those goals may not be realized. Riding is such a bipolar sport with some of the highest highs and the lowest lows. But everything is cyclical and you’ll come back up again.

    Like

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