That Time I Danced Around Like a Cracked Out Elf

It was the other day… actually it’s almost every day. But this isn’t about how weird I am. This is about how ecstatic I was after Tuesday’s lesson.

Or like Ace Ventura

The new routine:

Step 1: Drag Tucker away from his hay.

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“I said I’m not done eating!” ~ Tucker

Step 2: Drag Tucker away from every bit of food he finds in the aisle.
Step 3: Back Tucker up and down the aisle to work on those Butt muscles and keep that SI joint happy.
Step 4: Massage said butt muscles and his shoulder with the massager John bought him.

It looks kinda like this.

Step 5: Groom as normal.
Step 6: Do the shoulder stretches Chiropractor K taught us. Once on each side.
Step 7: Tack up, wake Tucker up from his nap and head to the arena.

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So sleepy!

Step 8: Tighten girth, lift legs to stretch out any caught skin, redo the shoulder stretches just for shits and giggles.
Step 9: Get on and ask for forward walk on a loose rein. Stretching out is good!
Step 10: GET THE F*** out of your head! Today is a new day. Don’t anticipate what’s going to happen. Just ride.
Step 11: Don’t think about it just trot. Both ways. On a loose rein.
Step 12: Trot both ways with contact. Stop thinking about it.
Step 13: Grin like a mad fool that just won the lottery because you don’t feel any wonky steps.
Step 14: Jump all the jump, lead change all the lead changes, Rock the shit out of everything and pat yourself on the back when you make it through the one stride to one stride gymnastic without giving 2 F***’s.
Step 15: Finish your amazing ride. Get off your wonderful horse that deserves ALL the apples and dance around like said cracked out elf.

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“ALL the treats now please!”

This is a series of actual events any resemblance to actual persons, horses, or events is not purely coincidental. IT’S REAL!!!

Happy Friday… oh wait it’s Thursday. Have a good Easter weekend, or long weekend if you get one.

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12 Responses to That Time I Danced Around Like a Cracked Out Elf

  1. Shauna says:

    Ha! I love the step-by-step process of your ride and the running commentary in your head 🙂 Happy you had a great ride with no wonky steps.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. emma says:

    step 16: celebrate that shizz and lock that feeling into your muscle memory to recreate next time 😀 yay for gettin in there and making it happen!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Tiaja says:

    Okay, so that is how I am supposed to do it! Thanks for the directions. Hopefully I can get my “cracked out elf” dance on soon too!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. L. Williams says:

    Whoa that massage thingy looks like it would be great on people 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Yay for an awesome ride!!!

    Like

  6. Carly says:

    No better ride than one that ends an in a cracked out elf dance!

    Like

  7. Pingback: The Story So Far ~ One Year of Blogging! | The Story So Far

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