Saying Goodbye

The worst part about pets is saying goodbye. The goodbyes are sometimes so bad that you swear up and down you’ll never do it again. You’ll never give your heart to another short lived creature. The pain of lose is just too great.

It sucks when it’s your dog you see age so quickly.

It sucks more when the vet says there’s nothing more to be done.

It’s a terrible feeling when it’s the first pet that you’ve been the one to make that final call for.

It’s heart wrenching when they ask you if you want some time alone.

It’s heart breaking when they take your boy to the back for the first part of the process.

It’s awful when they bring him back and he’s starting to relax from the sedative. Then you take one last look into his eyes and hope that he understands. Understands how much you appreciate that he’s always been there for you, how much you love him and how much he’ll be missed.

One last kiss on the head and you nod to the vet you’re ready. But you’re really not. You’ll never be ready. But he was there for you through the tough times so you’ll be there for him. To watch him take his last breath as his little life slips away.

No more pain. Utter sadness. You chat a little with the vet and give him one last touch but it’s not the same.

John waited outside. Even though he wasn’t his dog, he loved him too and my boy loved John the most. When I came out he asked me if he had barked. I said no, it was fast, he felt no pain. John said about five minutes before I came out he heard a bark and one of the lights in the parking lot went out. I told him it may have been coincidence or it may have been goodbye. We cried the whole way home.

Then you start trying to remember the good times. And they make you cry. But you realize that even though the parting is hard it was worth it for the 13+ years of happiness and love.

I miss his smile, his goofy personality and those head-butts he’d give you when he wanted his ears rubbed. Miss you my little man.