Ok so the title is a bit of an exaggeration. Life is really not that bad. But I have been overly negative lately and it’s making me unhappy. The problem with negative thoughts though is that they do tend to spiral out of control.
I quit riding last night no less than a dozen times. I was frustrated and negative and convinced that I couldn’t do it. Of course I didn’t actually quit and G wouldn’t let me. He was beyond patient with me and talked me through my multiple mini meltdowns. Once I finally put together a course that was ribbon quality he said I was done. And I agreed. After pushing our luck on Tuesday I didn’t want to end like that again.
Even though we finished on a really good note that did stop the despair. It’s not like the lesson was overly complex. There’s a show this weekend so the girls needed to practice courses. COURSES!!! Negative thoughts = unhappy Erin. Why can’t there be switch to turn that crap off!
My thought process on the way home: I ride like crap… I should stop riding… or change disciplines… Why am I blogging… I have nothing to say worth writing down. There was way more but you get the idea.
It’s quite annoying. You realize that the thoughts you are having are completely crazy out there, but you can’t stop them. All you want is happy, butterfly, rainbows and all you get are:
Un-pedicured toes on the first day of sandal weather
I’m confident that I’m not the only one that thinks these things. Why do we do this to ourselves? It’s not helpful. And it spills over into all the areas of life.
It’s like rhythm and a forward pace are needed to jump effectively. G says all the time “Solve it by going forward not pulling back”. You can’t change the negative things that sometimes happen but don’t dwell on them and let it hold you back. Force that happy positivity through. It’s an uphill battle but I’m determined to dig out of this crap heap.
Deep breath, smile. The sun is shining and the weather is finally good… now all I need is a pedicure.